Yoopers can handle anything

The move from Michigan's lower peninsula to its upper one went smoothly.

We are still in transition from our two-week vacation rental to our permanent residence just 10 minutes outside of Marquette.

Gina found a one-level ranch that's just a few years old on an acre of land in the middle of a conifer forest! By next weekend, we should be taking up residence there, which will make being here feel a bit more settled.

While all of the girls were such troopers on the 7.5 hour drive up, with exception to Violet, it's taken Gwen and Eliza a week to fully adjust.

Eliza continues to struggle with four molars attacking her little mouth all at once, complete with canker sores on the insides of her cheeks and the pain associated with all that teething business.

Thankfully we've had a great nurse to assist with Eliza and support all of her care needs while we attend to Gwen's transition issues (and keep pace with Violet).

Gwen continues to surprise us as she has had the toughest time transitioning. Perhaps the emotions of leaving her friends at Lincoln Developmental Center have finally caught up with her. Gwen's last day at school was one of the toughest days our family has experienced in a long time.

The people there are family to us. Most of the faculty and parents have ridden the roller coaster of our lives since Gwen was four. They have become a primary pillar within our G.R. support system. We miss them daily, and I'm sure Gwen does as well.

Gwen also surprised us with an unusual skin issue, which sparked our first trip to the medical center here.  The nurse practitioner who saw Gwen is actually our neighbor where we are staying now (love that!).

Thankfully, it's just some sort of bacteria that Gwen is fighting off quite well, and topical cream will probably speed up that healing process. Gina handled the appointment with her usual strength.

In other moving-related news, the only items that we forgot during our big move to the town by the big lake were the the kids' toothbrushes. Lucky for us they actually sell them in the stores here so it was a non-emergency issue.

We've also been working hard to find respite providers for Gwen so that Gina and I can continue our weekly date nights, something we have been doing since we lost respite insurance-covered providers for Gwen and Violet last year.

Just a few days before we left G.R., I shared our story with pediatric physical therapy students at GVSU. A student came up to me afterward and mentioned she had a connection to a person qualified for respite in Marquette.

Within only a week we've connected with a recent speech language therapist graduate from Central Michigan University. Also, the mother of one of Gina's high school friends runs the nursing program at Northern Michigan University, and she's been connecting us to senior nursing students.

While that good news came to us, we received the bad news that Eliza will also lose her nursing care starting June 2. Apparently our move from Grand Rapids is causing Eliza's care obligations to be negated - all this despite the fact that we proposed a reasonable solution for nursing care to continue using several of Eliza's primary nurses from Grand Rapids.

While the House of Gort has moved, we continue to ride the ebbs and flows of a portion of our lives being dictated by a third party.  We plan to continue to make more moves toward gaining back our lives, but that will be even more difficult as Eliza's care and therapies obligations diminish.

We made the decision to move here because of family obligations, having a support system in place in case the above happened and because we needed to remove ourselves from a situation - the fact that we have been forced to take legal action in order to fulfill Eliza's long-term needs.

As we make our transition to Yooper-dom, one thing is clear to me. The people who live here are a tight-knit bunch, usually riding out long winters together, the high winds of spring and fall storms coming of Lake Superior and the real possibility of wildfires devouring acres upon acres of thier woodlands.

While there are many uncertainties about our future, we are living among people who can handle whatever storm may be heading their way - I suspect we will do the same.

We are not leaving you

The toughest part about moving is not packing boxes, purging old things or even trying to sell junk on Craig list. It's, of course, saying the words "goodbye" to friends and family.

Nothing prepares you for the emotions of formally rolling the words out of your mouth because tears are surely to follow. Of course, Mother's Day, yesterday only exacerbates the rip current of feelings associated with leaving.

Spending time with our closest family members also contributed to me realizing that I've never left West Michigan permanently, and a part of me never will.  As I reflect on this home for what it has been, I know that I've met some of the most self-less human beings while living here.

I believe that not all paths and journeys like these are meant to be forever, and that's O.K.. The transition to the U.P., will be the healthiest one my family has experienced yet.

When we went for the holidays last year right after Christmas, my children were happiest I've ever seen.While certainly we all like the surroundings and being closer to some of our family, witnessing the night-and-day transformation in our children's quality of life reassures me of this decision.

Today, I can't help but reflect on some of the very firsts I experienced here with Gina and our family.

From the very little one-bedroom apartment where we started out prior to getting married, to the little 1800's cottage in the city where we planned to have our twins, to the urban 50's ranch-house with a pool and a killer backyard - we started the American way.

We had nothing but scraps in our pockets, one car to get us to work and a bouquet of promises and dreams. A dreamer and a worker, both young and clueless about how the world would keeping change their lives on the road ahead.

When Gwen was born and we lost her twin, Gabrielle, we found a support system in this community, many of whom have been in our lives since.

Gina and I also found a way to become an inseparable team working together through the medical maze of appointments, therapies and surgeries that would follow Gwen's cerebral palsy diagnosis.

When we had Violet we had new feelings of hope, and felt as though we were first-time parents, experiencing many new firsts we did not with Gwen. We had to learn how to be parents all over again (opposed to caregivers).  Violet shined a light on new possibilities at the House of Gort and we wanted one more child like her.

Of course, with Eliza, there have been many other firsts. Eliza was born the year of the White Tiger and she, in many ways, has saved all of us. We have learned more about ourselves from her than any other child. She's our happiest child and she radiates beyond words.

Gina and I, especially, were forced to look within ourselves to determine our true strengths and weaknesses.

This allowed us to not only see ourselves with a new kind of clarity, but also see the world with new eyes. Our focus became laser sharp, our bond with our family, which includes all of you, is the strongest its ever been.

Know that we are not 'leaving' you, friends. We are taking you with us, all of you.

Whatever road lies ahead, we will not navigate it without your memories, your kind words and the wisdom that you continually share.

Moving the House of Gort: part II

There's little reminding needed about how much spring is a time of change for all of us. 

From the weather warming up to the number of bugs that start to come out throughout Michigan, change is in the air.

At the House of Gort, it's more than 'in the air', it's happening. We have made the decision to relocate to Marquette, in Michigan's upper peninsula where Gina's parents live.

This has been a very tough decision. 

We have many close friends and a few family members who've provided an unprecedented amount of support since Eliza was injured at a local children's hospital.

Leaving amazing people is never easy, but it's clear that we need to get away from the limitations Grand Rapids currently offers us.

We know we'll do our best to augment our friendships through continued blog updates, telephone calls, facetime, e-mails, letters, etc. while also getting additional support from Gina's family.

Another reason we need to be closer them is the fact that Gina's father's health is not as good as it should be. In fact, shortly after Eliza's injury, you may recall he had a heart attack. 

Lately, he's had a series of health challenges in addition to his heart that need more attention than Gina's mom can provide around the clock.

While we know this transition will come with extra stress, we're hopeful that our support system here has given us a base to further build upon. 

We are on a very long journey in ensuring that Eliza's long-term needs are taken care of and being here, in Grand Rapids, not only drags that part on but also magnifies some of the horrific memories and experiences we've endured.

We need to continue to move forward, be where we can easily build new memories and be closer to Gina's parents. 

We thank you all, for reading, for commenting, for your support, love and for just being  you. It means a lot to us.

Big year. Big week. Dead weight.

Adjusting back to life in the Midwest after being gone for a week has been challenging. There's the whole jet-leg thing. There's the-uninterrupted-sleep thing. There's the-no-keeping-track-of-time thing.

It's obvious that Gina and I needed a break. It was restorative, to say the least, to be husband and wife instead of the at-home constants of care-giving, case-managing and parenting.

Our anniversary trip was like the honeymoon that we wouldn't have appreciated when we were newlyweds coupled with activities that we both enjoy. Nature was a large part of it.


We found ourselves fulfilling new roles, as quite the bird nerds. We were well on our way before trip, but I think watching "The Big Year" a few weeks before going sealed our fate as ave lovers. We hiked a lot with binoculars and identification books always on deck.

The notion of 'bird-nerding' is not as far-fetched as you might think. It was more than one year ago we moved into our new house where the back yard became a refuge - for many types of birds and for Gina and me.
 As we watched, discovered and learned about new species of birds that we'd never seen before our emotional scars began to heal much quicker. We more easily let go of the past and the world became enjoyable again.


We had a great-crested flycatcher land right outside of our bedroom window. We spotted a scarlet tanager from our kitchen table. We were often visited by hawks and owls.

A pair of barred owls frequently hunted in the mornings outside our windows. Gina had even witnessed an owl taking a squirrel off for an unusually large breakfast!

So, that we'd spend our time celebrating 10 years of marriage watching, listening and discovering new birds is apropos beyond belief.  While we didn't have a 'big year' per se, we did had one hell of a big week, one that we will never forget.


We saw more than 25 new species of birds, most of which, we'd never seen before, ranging from a Rufous hummingbird  to a flock of great egrets.  We were like children, discovering an unknown world and it felt as comfortable as home.

But now, as I sit here typing this, there are a pair of turkey vultures sitting in the dead tree behind our house where the owls and hawks typically are. They've been visiting often lately.

It couldn't be more apropos for the vultures to not only be circling overheard but to be landing and hanging out comfortably behind the House of Gort.


While most people consider a vulture to be a scavenger, only around to pick up the scraps, take away all of the dead weight, I can appreciate the kind of message it sends. The past year has been filled with new life, happiness and restoration but there's still more work to do.

I see clearly there is dead weight hanging around, and its time let go of it (now).

Happy 10 years to us

While both Gina and I could write endless diatribes about what the past 10 years of marriage (11 years together) has been like, many of you already know. 

You know the ups and downs, the triumphs and hard-fought wins. Most of all, you know that we are example of all things possible. 

We're are also happy to share that we are finally taking our honeymoon. See you all in a week!

Violet's gynmastic debut

Violet made her family so proud and loved showing us what she has been working so hard on these past few months. And she was so happy to show her sisters what she can do!

While we're not a hardcore gymnastic family, Violet loves to make Coach Amiee and her family proud. There is little doubt that she's going to go places.


 

I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille

Eliza continues to amaze us every day. She has come into her own as a toddler. Last Friday she had her first procedure at U of M. And though Gina and I were anxious about the anesthesia and the outcome, Eliza managed to prove yet again that she is able to do anything and do it with grace. She had the anesthesiologists so charmed that they sang to her as they wheeled her down to the O.R.

And when she returned to us still under anesthetics, she awoke quickly in response to Gina's voice and smiled. Though it was a groggy one, it was still a smile.

We brought her home and for the next couple days, we barely received a complaint about her injection sites, all seven of them.

Today she had one of her best aquatic sessions since she started and her tone seems to have responded well to the Botox.

So let us celebrate true grace and a beautiful spirit that is Eliza.

Photo courtesy of Rebecca Grabill @ Grabill Creative

Spring Break House of Gort Style

At the House of Gort last week Gwen spent her spring vacation going to U of M Mott Children's Hospital where she and Eliza had appointments.

It was the standard six-month check-ups, ranging from pulmonologist to physiatrist to dad-tiredness from the multiple drives. Although Gina and I have done individual trips, it most definitely helps to have the support of one another not only for the drives but also the appointments.

For Gwen though, these trips were a great thing. She hates being home from school and loves to be on the go.

She usually needs a one-day transition period until she fully adjusts to not being in school. That one day starts out with crying followed by more crying followed by more crying until at some point in the afternoon she figures it all out.

She has always depended heavily on routines. Unfortunately, she still has the routine that was created in the hospital last winter - awaking at least one time during the night.

We've adjusted and take turns getting up. There's just not resisting it - Gwen continues to be a mystery on so many fronts but the lack of sleep one we contribute to her 40-day stay in the PICU, her trach and us always giving in - we've tried so many therapy and sleep-related regimens; none have worked.

This week, we have more appointments at U of M with both girls. Eliza also will having a procedure to help her with tone-management in her legs. 

The long haul to and from Ann Arbor continues to be a drag but the alternative (wait a second, there isn't one!)...so we manage the girls in conjunction with consulting their respective specialists and pediatricians.

Eliza continues to grow at a pace faster than Violet. This is good from a clothing perspective but bad from a carrying and transportation perspective. Eliza is only 10 pounds behind her sister and their heights are nearly equal.

Eliza's Elmo Cupcake Cake

Eliza's serious pose learned from her big sister, Gwen

My bird sanctuary

I could fill the Internet with words describing what Gina means to me and our family.

She is mother of the decade and THE woman who changes the definition of the words: wife, soul-mate and partner.

Instead of attempting to find the end of the Internet, which I've tried several times, I offer this post as a tribute to her, born April 9, a smidgen over several decades ago.

My bird sanctuary

You are Barred Owl arriving each spring, hunting in the

back yard with your life-long companion. 

You watch, greet and acknowledge me with the 

rising and setting sun - your Golden Smile simmers its Glow.

You are Scarlet Tanager stopping by on your yearly

pilgrimage, perching on branch, lighting a Fire-storm in 

center of sogged-swamp, you've blazed
Orange Notes in my ears, ever since.

You are Great-crested Flycatcher landing on
deck, re-lighting fervor from my childhood. Ceaseless,
you give the Excitement of the First Time
you saw Cyanocitta stelleri (Steller's Jay).

You are King Fisher rattling your echo up and down the 

winding river bed, telling me of your work's completion.

My hands shake from your arriving Spirit, a life-time

of fulfillment in One Glimpse.

You are Great Blue Heron, gently craning your

neck, every inch of your rich feathers guiding me
up stream. With precision we enter the 

Cold Water, our necks Twisted and Pressed.

You are Hawk, softly and slowly spinning around a
single thermal, rising out and over sky's reflection, eyes

pooling 'round your Hunting Heart, the 

heavens resting Within.

You are Eagle shadowing above the long winding 

road narrowing beneath tunnels of trees, each turn 

revealing a New Curve. I ask myself whether I've
caressed you There before.

You are American Dipper I've yet to see, waiting

below a falling stream and rock-covered moss. There, standing 

with you, we'll sing in the breaking beams of light,
swimming, flowing forever as
one.

Happy Birthday Gina Gort

Love, 

Your Timothy

Happy Whatever from the House of Gort

Whether you celebrate Easter, Passover or Moses (the prophet of Jews) or meditate as any other day or Whatever...Happy That! 

Hope you have a Happy That Day!

Photos courtesy of Rebecca Grabill.